Granted, Twilight wasn’t a literary phenomenon when I was growing up, (*pausing to reflect on that last statement and my fleeting youth*) but we understood by the age of 2 that biting was a no-no. Kids nowadays have no respect for pain, and big scary diseases like AIDS. Unless there was some grand evolution in our physiology that I missed out on by being born in the 80s, biting still hurts, right? Digesting the blood of another human being is a riskier proposition than unprotected sex, yes? So why – nevermind. Just watch and laugh at the ridiculousness of America’s youth.

[The Alt Report]