Archive for category New England Patriots

Happy Patriot Elimination Day! – Introducting “Brady Face” To My Schadenfreude Art Collection

   

Brady & Manning Face are on display thanks to the generosity of The New York Jets & Rex Ryan Family

Schadenfreude hangover is the best type of hangover anyone can experience. It’s even better when Masshole Nation gets knocked down a few [hundred] pegs after taking the hottest team in the league into the playoffs. (Think I am making this up? Pumping the “Greatriots” full of gas? Click here, and here, and here.)

Excuse me, I need to return to the Elimination Day festivities. There are a few more Patriots message boards I need to troll before tonight’s feast.

[Screen captures by: 30fps]

“They Can’t Stop A Nosebleed!” – Bart Scott’s Epic Postgame Interview With Sal Paolantonio

   

Despite only contributing two tackles in the New York Jets playoff win over the New England Patriots, Bart Scott had a lot to get off his chest after the game.

UPDATE – 1/18/2011 – The extended ESPN version of the interview is now embeded. It also includes Scott coming in for a landing at Sal’s feet.

Hell Yes, New York Post! Embrace The Feet, Don’t Run From Them

   

Kids, one way you deal with a bully who picks on your flaws is to embrace them. New York Jets coach Rex Ryan will forever be known as that coach with a foot fetish. Patriot Wes Welker decided that it would be funny to mention feet 11 times during press conference not about foot fetishes. So those crafty photoshopping cats at the New York Post decided to roll with the punches, and provide Ryan a little added motivation.

"Lick 'Em!"

By the way, this blog fully endorses the New York Jets success in the playoffs. (No, this has nothing to do with my pure hatred for the Northeastern region of the United States.)

Massholes, Taylor Has An “AR” At The End, Not “AH”

   

Here’s isolated audio of Massholes being Massholes during final the moments of Monday’s New England Patriots – New York Jets game.

[30fps]

Joe Flacco Wasn’t That Good On Sunday

   

How do you win with a 10.0 passer rating?

The definition of suck

The definition of suck

Schadenfreude Sunday – Bernard Pollard Is Officially An Assassin

   

I’m going to get to this epic nerd war between Malcolm Gladwell and Steven Pinker in a later post. Also, the Chiefs took part in the festivities of Schadenfreude Sunday by dashing the win-and-you’re-in playoff hopes of the Broncos.

Derrick Johnson & Jamaal Charles

Derrick Johnson & Jamaal Charles

Big ups to Jamaal Charles, who is proving that waiting patiently for your time to shine actually works. Although he wasn’t as heralded as the East Coast Cat, he definitely made sure that Chief fans will remember his name by shattering the single game rushing record by a Chief with 259 yards rushing. The former record holder with 211 yards? The East Coast Cat. Good riddance.

Derrick Johnson, your efforts yesterday will not go unrecognized. Two big interceptions to lock the game up, and add some Broncos to the guestlist of your playoff watch party in the coming weeks.

Bernard Pollard, who should have been on the team with Charles and Johnson this season, had his own version of Schadenfreude Sunday. Having taken his first steps into the league of assassins last year by nearly ending Tom Brady’s career with MCL and ACL tears, he has another victim to add to his list.

Pollard's Second Victim

Pollard's Second Victim

Wes Welker. I’m not celebrating injuries, because I too have had and ACL injury in the past. I’m celebrating a man who takes bounties seriously. Had I known that Bernard Pollard were this cold-blooded, I would have commissioned him with the task of finding my Snooki Punch Tape.

Read the rest of this entry »

Pat The Patriot Getting His Tiger Woods On

   

An artist's rendition of the criminal

An artist's rendition of Pat The Philanderer

Only because it’s the Patriots, and Belichick (allegedly) cheated.

“BOSTON (AP) ― A man who acts as a mascot for the New England Patriots is among 14 people who have been arrested for prostitution-related crimes in Rhode Island since a new law went into effect that banned indoor prostitution.”

Click here to read the rest of the story

[via - wbztv.com]