Archive for category Jersey Shore

Reward: One Quadrillion Dollar Bounty For The Unedited Snickas Punch Episode


Condition: It must be DVD, mov, mp4, or avi formatted, wrapped in velvet, and on my doorstep by the time the next show airs (December 17th, 10pm Pacific Standard Time). NO EXCEPTIONS! The recipient of said bounty may expect payments to dispense immediately (in monthly installments of 0.02¢/month), upon verification and transfer of “The Unedited Snickas Punch Episode”.

Rogue MTV employees are eligible to receive the bounty as well.

Snooki (aka - Snickas) Popping Off And, Getting Popped

Snooki (aka - Snickas) popping off, and getting popped

Happy hunting!

Jersey Shore: I Am Not Ready To Pull The Plug On It Yet


Yes, I heard that MTV was pulling the must anticipated event in television history, since its premiere on December 3rd. I am heart broken like the rest of you. However, I still reserve some hope that the show will return to greatness. I have no evidence to prove this, just faith that things will turn around. It’s not like MTV hasn’t covered the shore in an entertaining fashion before.

That was “True Life: Jersey Shore” from 2006. The bald guy is “Tommy Cheeseballs”. An under-appreciated documentary icon from the shore. Although it was not as ridiculous as “Jersey Shore”, it was entertaining without the minstrel show flavor. MTV can do this without offending an entire ethnicity. Have faith.

Hmm, what’s this? I must have left a link for you to click on that may, or may not have to do with this post. If you’re lucky, a cash reward may be involved.

BTW – According to Google, I am your #1 source for all news dealing with “snickas jersey shore mtv”. Haha

Google search: snickas jersey shore mtv

Google search: snickas jersey shore mtv

I Am Crestfallen – Jersey Shore Was Horrible Last Night

Alright, you guys have one less "Real World" housemate to deal with. Let's spice things up!

Alright, you guys have one less "Real World" housemate to deal with. Let's spice things up!

MTV! What have you done with God’s Show? Why did you turn last night’s show into a formulaic Real World episode?

Angelina’s drama should have gotten no more than 3 minutes of play. I don’t care if she wrongly thought she was a princess, and selling shitty t-shirts was beneath her. That was an error in casting. She was dragging the show into the ground, and was an assassin for hook ups in the house. Good riddance.

The Sammi – Ronnie drama was kind of necessary to creating some entertaining tension on the show, especially at the end, when J-Woww (I need to look that girl’s name up, because she is too damn old to be called that.) and Snickas [sic] blew the situation (the word, not the man) out of control. That was somewhat entertaining. MTV could have left that lovey-dovey shit from the middle of the show on the cutting room floor.

In all, there were about 7 minutes of QUALITY television in episode 3. On the flip side, I wasted 6 days, 22 hours, and 53 minutes of my life anticipating  awesomeness part three, only to get a dud. Shnookums [sic] getting banked in the fawkin’ face better be the cherry on top, and not the main highlight of the show next week, or I am done with this Guido version of the Real World.

By the way, MTV, thanks for possibly spoiling the fact that Ronnie breaks up with Sammi with that wack ass “aftershow”.”The Situation” couldn’t help himself by going after the potentially single Sammi all night (and getting shut down at every pass).

Not Looking Good, Jersey

Snooki (aka - Snickas) Popping Off And, Getting Popped

Snooki (aka - Snickas) popping off, and getting popped

I had a co-worker from New Jersey tell me off, when I asked her if she watched ‘THE GREATEST MINSTREL SHOW OF ALL TIME! OF ALL TIME!‘ (*Kanye shrug*) She defended the honor of her state that has been dragged through the mud by the likes of The Sopranos and Jersey Shore. Based on pop culture, New Jersey is a state that is run by mobsters, who retreat to Seaside Heights, NJ during the summer to throw their fists to the beat of high tempo house music (and at the faces of annoying diminutive women from Poughkeepsie). I have never been to New Jersey, don’t plan on going to New Jersey, but I am quite sure there are sentient beings that reside there, who rely on logic and reason to live their everyday lives.

That said, Thursday night, I have a date with my television set & MTV at 10pm. DO NOT DISTURB!

Cultural Stereotypes Are Fun When They Aren’t About You


The cast from MTV's Jersey Shore

Last night, the most anticipated series premiere in trash TV history aired, and didn’t fail to entertain. MTV’s Jersey Shore had all of the elements of a Grade A trashy show. Fights, superficiality, hooking up, relationship infidelity, vomiting, heartbreak, jealousy, girls with unwarranted self-importance, girls with low self-esteem, hot tubs, skinny dipping, cock blocking, and drunk girls falling down stairs. Where is the show’s Emmy? This is like watching Lebron James’ first NBA game, and he wins the championship without playing the other 81 games left in the season.

They all (but one “true Italian”) are self-professed guidos and guidettes.

The cultural stereotype component is what makes the show interesting. So far, every stereotype on the checklist about guidos from the Northeast has been covered except the IROC Camaros. (None of the fellas drive one.) Hair gel, fake baking, douchebaggery, tats, “protein shakes”, and being vain to a fault are a few of the stereotypes that MTV quickly got out of the way last night in the premiere’s two-hour long special.

As the show became more and more entertaining, l had a guilty feeling knowing that had MTV covered something like blacks who openly profess to being “niggas”, eat fried chicken all day, have criminal records, and are hyper-sexual (as is the case with guidos), I would head to New York, and burn down MTV’s headquarters. (Ok, ok, I wouldn’t do that, but I would stop watching MTV for a long time.) Knowing an Italian-American somewhere is rolling his eyes in disgust makes it difficult for me to truly enjoy the show.

I guess people that make great buffoons of themselves will always have people laughing at them, and not with them (myself included).